You
Weren’t There
By:
Carrie Watson
“You
will never believe what came in the mail today.” Melissa said.
Her husband Mark sat at the kitchen table drinking his
coffee and didn’t bother to look up from his Ipad when he responded, “I know
it’s not the bill from your Victoria’s Secret charge card because that came the
other day. Who spends that much money on underwear?”
“You didn’t complain last Thursday night when I tried on
the things I bought.”
“But I wouldn’t have thrown it on the floor if I knew it
cost as much as one of our car payments.”
“Oh, stop. How often do I actually treat myself to
something nice? Stop whining.” Melissa laughed.
Mark laughed, but more in a sarcastic scoffing kind of
way. “So what came in the mail today?” He asked and put down his Ipad and his
coffee.
“It looks like a letter from your brother.”
“What brother.”
“The only brother you have Mark. He goes by the name of
Dan.”
“Sarcasm, Hun. You can just throw it out. And who sends a
letter anymore?”
“Maybe if you picked up the phone when he called for the
eighty-seventh time, he wouldn’t have to send a letter.”
“I don’t have any reason to talk to him. He’s a douche bag,
and my life has been a lot less aggravating without him in it. You know the
shit he used to pull. He was arrested twice… that I know of; he’s been to rehab
three different times, which I paid for, and he totaled my car.”
“I know what an asshole he was…”
“Not was. Is.”
“Fine, I know what an asshole he IS, but he’s still your brother and after growing up in that house,
it’s understandable why he took so many wrong turns.”
“I grew up in the same house he did! With the same whack
job of a mother for Christ sake!”
“Calm down, Mark. I know everything that happened. I was
there. I saw it for myself. I hated your mother for what she put you guys
through. And there were plenty of times when I hated your brother too. But you
were always so much stronger than he was emotionally. You could put up walls
that he couldn’t. And after your dad died when you were twenty three, we moved out
here and he was left to deal with her alone.”
“Melissa, I was offered a really good job, don’t make it
sound like I abandoned my family. And wasn’t I the one who offered to have him
come live with us? Wasn’t I the one who said he could stay here until he saved
enough money to get his own place?”
“But then she guilt him into staying with her head games;
the same head games she has always played with him. Because with him, she knew
she could.” Melissa pointed out.
“Look, I know part of you still feels sorry for him. You
have a good heart and that’s why I love you, but opening that envelope will
bring nothing but trouble. Believe me.”
“Well I’m opening it. I want to know what he has to say.”
Mark jumped up from his chair, grabbed the envelope from
her hand. “What did I just fucking say?!?”
His
rage exploded and he pushed the kitchen table violently across the floor. “No
you weren’t there! You weren’t there for half of it! You met us when we were twenty.
You weren’t there when we were fourteen and she was still in bed for the third
day straight. And that was because after my dad left to go on one of his ‘business
trips,’ she blew coke for two days straight. She didn’t drink wine by the
glass; she drank it by the box. There was no food in the house. We were left
there to take money from her purse while she slept so that we could order
take-out everyday just so we could have something to eat. Then when she smelled
the food she would wake up and scream at us from her bed upstairs to bring her
up some. And my brother always would. One time he walked up there with a cheese
steak, which he unfortunately was nice enough to heat up for her in the
microwave first. I say unfortunately because do you know what happened when he
went up to that fucking room; when he walked into that fucking snake pit?”
Melissa
didn’t answer. Tears were streaming down her face. She stood there in silence
and let Mark finish.
“She
threw the cheese steak at him and screamed like a fucking psycho because he
didn’t put ketchup on it! He walked back down the stairs covered in hot grease
with a fresh gash on his head from the plate that she threw across the room at
him!”
Raged filled tears moistened Marks eyes, but they didn’t
touch his cheeks. He never let them get that far. “I tried to help Dan. I tried
to help him be strong like I was, but you’re right. He was the more sensitive
one. He was the emotionally needy one. And he so desperately needed the hug
that would come with a fake tearful apology from our mother an hour after each
episode, and it was like it never happened. He was stupid enough to go into
that room, over and over again, and he paid for it every time. I got out before
I got sucked in too.”
They stood in silence. Melissa had never heard that story
before. Mark stood there with his hand at his squinted face, pinching the
bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. Finally he handed the
envelope to Melissa and said, “Fine. Here. Open it.”
The doorbell rang and it called them back to reality from
their surreal trip back to that house. Mark asked Melissa if she could go and
answer the door while he put the table back and cleaned up the mess. She
started to rip open the envelope while she walked down the long hallway toward
the front door. She didn’t have time to finish opening it before she reached
the handle.
She opened the door and stood there in awe.
“Hi Melissa, it’s been a long time.”
“Hi, Dan.”
“I see you got my letter. I meant for it to arrive
yesterday though. It was supposed to tell you I was coming before I arrived so
I didn’t just show up at your door, you know, like this.”
“What are you doing here?” Mark said as he walked up and
stood behind Melissa in the doorway.
Dan looked at his brother and said, “Mom’s dead.”
Melissa didn’t say anything.
“From what?”
“Lung cancer. I’ve been trying to call you. The doctor
said her days were numbered and I wanted to give you a chance to say goodbye.”
Dan said not taking his eyes off of his brother.
“I said goodbye a long time ago.”
“I know, you haven’t spoken to mom since dad’s funeral.
But I also came to tell you that a lot has happened since then. I got
professional help. I met a nice girl that I have been in love with for a year
now, I cleaned up my act.”
“Good for you. I’m happy for you. But how did you afford
all of that treatment, especially in addition to whatever mom’s medical bills
racked up to?” Mark asked.
“Well, before mom got sick she met a man named Gerry. He
was retired, widowed, and lonely. Mom didn’t love him, but she married him
anyway. He was a retired psychiatrist and also dabbled in real estate, so he
was loaded. He and I got along really well. He died shortly after mom was
diagnosed and left all of his money to me. Mom was furious, but he knew the
love mom had for him wasn’t ever real.”
“I don’t think that woman ever knew how to love.” Mark
said.
“Maybe not, but she was still our mother. I took care of
her medical costs, her funeral, and her burial. I took what was left of the
money and I split it in half.” Dan said and pulled out his wallet.
He handed a check to Mark. Mark unfolded it. He opened
his mouth to say something, but no sound came out so he closed it again. He
stood and stared at it in silence for a few minutes before he said, “Why are
you giving me all of this money?”
Melissa leaned back and looked at the check and covered
her mouth in shock. The check was made out to Mark in the amount of two
hundred-thousand dollars.
Dan looked up at Mark and said, “I hated you for leaving.
I was so angry at you for so long. But you did try to help me out as much as
you could, not to mention the times you bailed me out; sometimes literally. Plus,
you’re still my brother.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Listen, I just came by to give you that.
I’ll see you around.”
As Dan turned to make his way down the walk way towards
the blue Toyota Prius parked out front, Melissa turned to Mark. As he watched
his brother, a tear formed between the edges of his eyelids. The moment it
touched his cheek it sped down his face to his chin. Melissa gave Mark a
pleading look.
Mark looked at her, swept the moisture off of his face,
and then called out to his brother. “Dan, before you go, do you want to come in
for a cup of coffee?”
“Yeah, I would like that.”
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